News Article Banned from Bloid News Servers! Readers Outraged! Reporter On the Warpath!

Dateline: Lake Geneva, Wisconsin July 15, 2014

In what many are calling a major coup for the establishment, the internet has blocked famed news outlet Bloid News, from publishing their latest edition. What secrets have these insipid reporters uncovered to get the entire internet rallied to halt its release? Is it just a digital flaw as some suggest or is there something in the news for which the world just is not ready?

We begin this article in the office of Bloid News founder and Editor in Chief, Rick Giernoth. Many people see this mild mannered author as unimposing, but when he sinks his teeth into a news story, even the world powers quake in fear. When I walked in this morning to complain that my articles have not shown up on the website, I saw Rick, already hunched over his keyboard typing furiously. After brushing me away, I decided to take my problems to the source of the situation: in the darkest corner of the lowest floor, I headed to the computer core to talk to Red, our in house computer guru, Geek Squad and Apple Genius.

I have never known of the door to the computer core to be locked before and my crisp knock was answered with a shriek from inside ordering me to go away until she fixed this. Why did I run? Read my book to find out why I and everyone else should be afraid of the women at Bloid News. At any rate, I decided that my best bet was to go back to Rick and find out what was going on.

As I passed my desk, the phone rang and I turned to pick it up. I should not have done that. Bill O’Reilly was laughing through the earpiece and asking what was wrong with the Bloid. I hung up on him and checked my voice mail. Yep, sure enough every reporter in America with a vested interest in our failure was calling to gloat. I’d had enough. I barged into Rick’s office determined to get some answers.

“First, I didn’t get any articles from you. I don’t know if you failed to send them or they were lost in transit, but they weren’t here and didn’t get in.” That was a fine how do you do. Before I could ask my next question he shoved the keyboard away from him and looked up. “It’s a hot mess,” he said, rubbing his palm across his scalp. “First everything was going fine and then it wouldn’t let me post Jewel’s story on the Mexican Oracle, then every story reverted to last issue. Now everything is back the way it should be, but the Oracle story still won’t go.”

I looked confused. I know I did because when I get confused, I get a confused look on my face. Rick shook his head and winced. “Is it the Illuminati?” I asked, knowing this group had a raging hatred for Rick and Bloid News.

“Don’t be silly,” he said shaking his head. "In a time when the NSA and other overseeing lettered agencies are taking power unto themselves we have to wonder what exactly was in this seemingly over the top article to have it pulled. As of five minutes ago this article and this article alone has been locked.”

“How’s Jewel taking it?” I asked.

“I haven’t told her yet,” he said. “I’m having enough headaches without adding her melting down and causing a global panic from her fury.”

If he were talking about anyone else, I would have thought he was joking. But I’ve seen Jewel upset. Jewel upset is worse than most women angry. Jewel angry has caused world leaders to retire and hide in witness protection. One Middle-Eastern dictator hung himself to get away from her when she found out he lied to her about weapons of mass destruction. As of 19:01 Zulu on July 15, we still do not know why this one article is being banned by the entire world wide web, but trust in Rick, Red and the rest of the Bloid News team to make sure you get this explosive news item one way or another.

Knowing Jewel, she may just go door-to-door and tell everyone. Let’s see the internet block that.

Who Watches the Watchers?

It happens twice a month. On the first and the fifteenth of every month, the impossible becomes real. I know, you think I'm talking about the articles in Bloid News, but I'm not. Well, I'm not talking about the articles. I AM talking about something else that appears in Bloid News, though.

You see, Rick changes the passwords to the website and our in-house systems every day in what has become a vain attempt to keep anyone from accessing our files or damaging our reputation. The only problem is that this system manages to keep out everyone from my eight-year-old granddaughter to NSA super hackers, but it has yet to keep a particular group from posting their own information on our website.

Who is this group that tears through an encryption system designed to keep intelligence agencies around the world at bay? Why are they so determined to use us to get their message out? What do their messages really mean? Most important, who the heck are they?

They're known simply as the Watchers. That's all we know. Well, we also know that they have managed to incorporate their messages into every issue of Bloid News since Rick started it. And we know that every time they access our systems and do so, Rick nearly has a melt down. Oh, and I just found this out myself - Rick is on a mission to get information about them and shut them down. The bad news? He's using me and Nathan Phoenix to do it.

Yep. You heard me. Nathan and I have been pulled off of every other assignment and project and have been ordered to dedicate our entire existence to digging up information on a group that we can't really prove exists. Nathan got the first nibble yesterday when he found a tenuous thread connecting a super secret sect of the Masons to a group called the Watchers. While he continued to dig through public records, I ran off to chase this lead.

I spoke to a couple of Masons that I know, and neither admitted knowing anything about a group called the Watchers. I believed them. I did. I've known the men for years and they've never had a reason to lie to me. Well, I guess they didn't before I asked them about something they weren't about to share with me. I figured out that my friends had lied to me when I got this letter this morning:

Mr. Evans,

It is my responsibility to inform you to take care in what you seek. Some questions should never be answered. Rest assured that you will never find the complete truth for we are everywhere and nowhere. We see every minute brush stroke in life and the picture as a whole. We see you when you wake in the morning and we watch as you go about your day. We observe your sleep and even know your dreams. You have seen some of us but have never seen us at all. We are the Watchers and we observe everything without directly interfering.

At the bottom of the letter, I found only this symbol.









If you will excuse me, Nathan and I are about to stick our noses where I'd rather we didn't.

The Story Behind the Story: Whitehouse Easter Debacle Uncovered.

Now that you’ve read the article and discovered the incident that led to President Obama cancelling the annual Whitehouse Easter Egg Hunt, it’s time you got the whole story.

Johnathan and Natalie Porter always prided themselves on being patriotic citizens. Both hard working parents of young Kimberly not only paid their taxes, they always paid a little extra throughout the year to make sure that they would always get a return and not have to pay at the end of the year. Well, they did until four years ago when Natalie lost her job as a branch manager for a major bank. Johnathan’s job as a teacher couldn’t cover their bills and they soon had to move from their four bedroom house in a posh suburb of Columbus, Ohio into a two-bedroom mobile home in an urban village of a neighboring county.

Soon the long commute to his job took its toll on Johnathan, more accurately his car. When it broke down on the freeway halfway between his home and his job, he found himself without a way to get to work. It didn’t take the Franklin County school system long to replace Johnathan and the loss of his job and his only mode of transportation drove the previously resolute husband and father to drink.

By the new year of 2013, Johnathan and Natalie were in the midst of a divorce and young Kimberly was in a constant state of tears. The little girl was spending a summer day with her neighbor’s children when she learned something that would put her on a path with destiny and treason. Young Kimberly learned that President Obama’s policies that led to bailouts of major corporations and the newly approved “Obamacare” program forced her mother’s bank to let her go in order to cut expenditures. From that day forward, Kimberly blamed the President for destroying her family.

Imagine her shock and joy when just a few months later, she received a letter from the office of the very man she hated most. Kimberly had been one of fifty-five children from each state and territory, invited to attend the annual Easter Egg Hunt in our nation’s capital. Well naturally, the rest is history. Little Kimberly laid out her plan and at the rehearsal for the hunt, she attacked the President and First Lady with five of the dozen raw eggs, she painted to look like Easter eggs and snuck onto the Whitehouse grounds.

The fallout of Kimberly’s attack saw the young girl and her parents being arrested and four Secret Service agents to be fired for allowing the girl to sneak her arsenal onto the property. The President remains resolute in his insistence that there will be no events involving children on the Whitehouse grounds while he sits as President.

Next, I'll let you know how  Nathan found out about America's latest military recruiting tactics. Read the article here, and don't forget to check out the other stories in this issue of Bloid News.

Righteous Indignation or Supreme Temper Tantrum?

So Killbride got to sink her teeth into a juicy story this week and since she and I often find ourselves on the same beat, I asked Rick to give me something soft. A human interest piece to kind of settle my nerves and give me a chance to get away from the strange. Rick reluctantly obliged and asked me to go cover the preparations for the annual Whitehouse Easter Egg Hunt.

Now, there are three places that a coward (like me) does not want Rick Giernoth to send them. The first is Area 51. I mean really, the last time I was there I watched doctors harvest alien DNA that they planned to use to develop super humans. The second place I didn't want Rick to send me was an alleged haunting. Believe me when I tell you when it comes to hauntings that we investigate, they are not so alleged. Remind me to tell you about the time I accidentally ghost busted a live Rick instead of a dead ghost. But the number one place I never want to appear is Washington DC. Why? Let me tell you.

Since starting to work at Bloid News, I have met the President more often than I've had dinner with my mom. That's mainly because my mom is crazy and never stops telling me about all the great things my siblings and high school friends are doing while I am wasting my life reporting the news and writing books. But the fact that I have encountered the President on no less than 13 occasions is hardly impressive considering each time I have met him I have been digging into a story that borders on treason and more often than not involves me either blackmailing, conning or outright robbing the most powerful man on Earth.

So, yes. I was a little nervous about this assignment. But hey, I was just going to cover the preparations for a public event. What could go wrong? If you go to http://www.bloidnews.com/ tomorrow, you will find out exactly what went wrong. If you come back here on Wednesday, I'll tell you what I couldn't put in my story.

The Case of the Missing Flight (Continued)

Malaysian Airlines Boeing 777-200ER

If you’ve been paying attention, I promised you last Wednesday that I would tell you how I found out about the Malaysian Airlines hoax from last month. So, here’s the story. You’ll remember that halfway to Malaysia, I realized that Rick had given me a one-way ticket at about the same time I remembered a relatively secret airline policy. Naturally, my reaction caused quite a scene on the plane and I was detained as soon as we landed. I swear it wasn’t my fault. After everything I’ve seen since coming to work for Rick, I really do qualify for PTSD. So then, after the very large man with the very thick fingers and the oversized ring made sure I didn’t have any dangerous materials on or in my person, I was released to investigate the disappearance of flight 370.

My first stop was at the Malaysian Airlines counter where a friendly young woman instructed me to speak with their corporate offices concerning the missing plane. I had planned to do that anyway, but I continued to walk around the airport for a while, trying to get someone to talk to me about it. Now I know that many of you are not investigators or reporters, but all of you should know that when something this major happens, it is human nature for at least one person to gossip about it. I couldn’t get anyone to even venture a theory or rumor. Yeah, that’s what I though too, a big red flag.

The truth is I couldn’t get anyone to answer a question about the flight that wasn’t already plastered on mainstream news outlets all over the world. That is, until I got to Malaysian Airlines corporate office on the third floor of Administration Building A at Sultan Abdul Aziz Shah Airport in Subang, Selangor, in Kuala Lumpur. After getting the pull press packet and basic bum rush from the administrators of the airline, I ran into a charming young man who was just coming to work. Apparently his house was underground somewhere because when I asked him what he thought about the missing airliner, he looked at me like I sprouted a second head.

The young man, it turned out was Yusuf Yahiya, the son of managing director Ahmad Yahiya. He asked me which of their planes disappeared and I told him. His relief was palpable.

“I was worried,” he said. “I thought you meant one of our planes had gone missing.”

“Oh?” I asked. “You don’t work for Malaysian Airlines?”

“Of course I do,” he said. “But we don’t have a plane designated 370.” I figured that I might have gotten the numbers wrong, so I asked about 307. “No,” he said. “What kind of plane was it?”

“A B-777,” I answered, meaning Boeing 777.

“Well, that’s impossible,” he said. “All of our 777s are grounded pending safety inspections. We’re about to phase them out and if they meet criteria, we’re going to be selling all 13 of them.”

Ah-ha. I convinced the young Mr. Yahiya to allow me to accompany him to his office before he reported to his father and we looked up the suspect plane’s pertinent information. According to Yusuf’s records Malaysian Airlines only had 13 Boeing 777s and all were indeed grounded. They had one scheduled flight out of Kuala Lumpor on the 8^th heading to Beijing. It was their 747 cargo jet. Interesting. It landed on schedule with no problems. Very interesting.

He did a quick search and found all kinds of information about the presumed missing flight and was flabbergasted that the world thought that this was one of his planes. We looked over the details of the proposed flight plan and the route the missing plane appeared to have taken. Yusuf couldn’t figure out why a flight that should have been direct north by northeast was reported as being last seen almost directly west of where it allegedly took off.

I had an idea and thanked Yusuf for his help. I made sure that if he found anything, he should call me as soon as possible. I left Administration Building A and headed back to the airport. It took some work, and not just a little of Rick’s budget for me to talk myself into the tower to talk to the pros. It took me even more of Rick’s budget to get just one of the pros to talk to me.

I found out that the flight that disappeared really was flight 370 from Malaysian Airlines, but it didn’t actually disappear. The guy I talked to, who shall remain anonymous per his request, told me that someone from a television production company asked for the records to be altered to show the flight had disappeared. He showed me the original records and then the modified ones. After I bought the name of the producer that hired him, I left the tower.

I followed my little trail until I got to the offices of ABNxess, a Malaysian television network. They somehow got the impression that I was an intelligence officer from the CIA and their concern for their own safety got me the whole story. I confirmed that ABNxess and the television producers Andaman Television, from Malaysia and T.K. Watson from Australia actually leased one of the soon to be phased out 777s from Malaysian Airlines to transport cast and crew of a new television program which will film semi-live once a week for the next 25 weeks.

The television show is what ABNxess refers to as a cross between Survivor and Lost, which is where they got the title of the show, Malay Lost. The film crew will follow the cast members in an unscripted journey of survival on an uninhabited island just off the coast of Australia. The premise is that the cast of 20 are survivors of a plane crash and must use their wits and each other to survive the elements. Of course the plane never really crashed but according to Andaman, everything that happens afterward is real.

In the weeks since Bloid News broke the story, we have repeatedly attempted to contact producers to see if the show will ever air in the United States, but as yet, we have had no response. Malaysian viewers have enjoyed two episodes so far and Australian viewers will begin seeing it on their own televisions in mid-May.

My life at Bloid News

Now that I've published the Bloid News novel, I find myself in the unique position of having so much story to tell and so little space to tell it. What was I to do? I decided to put it all here.

I'll start out by telling you the truth behind my latest story, which you can find at http://www.bloidnews.com/CONSPIRACY-CORNER.html You see, I was sitting at my desk the day that Malaysian Airlines flight 307 disappeared. I was looking into finding a neat little gag I could spring on my co-workers. I'd grow used to the background noises at the office, I mean let's face it, since the book came out, we've had a ton of new reporters come onto the staff and all of them are eager to get the next great story.

So, while several dozen cob reporters were chattering on about conspiracies, ghosts, zombies, the apocalypse and whatever, I was trying to decide if I should glue everyone to their seats or put superglue on the keys of their laptops. I was just looking into a recipe for a unique glue that would stick a butt to a chair without being detected when all of a sudden, all noise ceased in the office.

My first instinct was that someone had done something to me to make me deaf. If you've read my book, you'd know this was a valid concern. I clicked my tongue slightly to subtly determine that I wasn't deaf, so I turned in my chair to see what was going on. Everyone was staring at the TV in the newsroom. I figured that since I was able to move, this wasn't one of Ann's little devices that froze us all in time. I followed their gaze and looked at the TV myself.

CNN was showing a graphic of a flightpath coming out of Malaysia with a little red sunburst icon throbbing at a point a few miles from the start point. I assumed they were reporting on a crash, so I walked over and turned up the volume. Halfway through the report of the Malaysian Airlines flight 370's disappearance, Rick, the boss, came out of his office with a plane ticket and a grin. Every time I see this particular grin, I get nervous.

"Go get 'em, kid," he said as he shoved the ticket into my hand. I looked down and discovered that I had a one-way ticket to Kuala Lumpur. I was just given an assignment that was being covered by mainstream news agencies. This rarely happens. I was so excited that I totally ignored my discomfort (read fear) of flying and didn't even consider two terrifying facts.

1. The FAA and airline companies never have accidental crashes, flights that crash or disappear, usually do so because they are being scuttled to control operating costs.

2. My boss just handed me a freaking ONE WAY TICKET!!!

At this point of the narrative, I think it is important to inform you, my kind readers, that when you realize these two facts at 30,000 ft above the surface of the planet over the Pacific Ocean, you should not respond by shouting loudly "Holy Boeing Bombs! My boss just put me on a plane that's going to crash!" Seriously, never shout that when flying over the Pacific. You'll get tackled by half of the passengers on board, a very large and very aggressive Air Marshall will stick a Taser somewhere uncomfortable before turning it on and then you'll get detained.

So, the guy that searched me for explosives was obviously a former player for the NFL and wore a Superbowl ring. Six days later, I was still afraid to sit down even as I walked out of the detention center with a half-hearted apology from the Air Marshall and the Malaysian authorities. I suspect Rick's influence was the only thing that got me out of that jam, but I was still slightly annoyed with him.

The details of my investigation resulted in the story you read (or can read) on the Bloid News website at the address above. While you're there, check out the other amazing stories my co-workers found. I'll come back on Saturday to give you the details I couldn't fit into my report. Until then, keep a sharp eye out. You never know what secrets are hidden just below the surface.